desperate times

• Jeremy: (upon finding a giant Pixie Stick under the futon covers in the guest bedroom, grinning happily) Look what I found!
• me: uh, okay
• Jeremy: Do you think it was Nina's?
• me: or Celina's... Why are you looking at me like that?
• Jeremy: Cos you won't let me eat it. Who knows how long it's been here. Floor Candy!
• me: I won't stop you, but if you think your stomach hurts now...
• Jeremy: The problem with it being Celina's, though, is she could have found it anywhere! It could be, like, Street Candy. "Hey guys, check it out! I got a bronze head full of candy at Thrift Town!"
• me: (cracking up) Why would you say that about her?
• Jeremy: Thrift Store Candy
• me: Gutter Candy
• Jeremy: Um, I prefer the term 'Storm Drain Candy' (he walks out of the room) I'm gonna keep this with me just in case
• me: In case what?!
• Jeremy: In case my inhibitions lower and I wanna eat it